The Dormitory Package Tactic

If you are playing assassins and your target lives in a dorm room, you can always use this classic tactic to get your target out of the assassination-free safe zone of his room...

'swipper' killed 'Malfoy'

'swipper' writes,

"Is there a Kurt in here?" was the question asked to the brightly lit room as the target watched tv. "Yeah, I'm Kurt, why?" this was exactly the response that was hoped for... "the office has a package down stairs that they've had for a long time for you, just letting you know."

After the false message was delivered the trap was set; lying in ambush the prey fell straight into the trap walking down a few minutes later. Asking the office for his package brought a confused look from the desk clerk and a resounding echo of a gun blast as the nerf dart hit him in the chest... the body immediately went into violent spasms as blood sprayed everywhere... I pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the splattered blood from the still smoking barrel, then coolly walked over the body and out the door. [dramatization]

'Malfoy' writes,

Again, the television, it entrances me and I lose touch with reality...

Not Gilmore Girls this time, but CSI, how appropriate, Crime Scene, well, there really is no investigation, but there was a crime scene.

The Mailboxes...

So I was chillin like ice-cream-fillin and this guy walks by my room. He knocks and says, "hey Kevin, or uhh Kurt, you have a package downstairs and its been there for a while, so if you could pick it up, that would be great."

This time, I wasn't so off my guard. I grabbed my wallet and keys and headed towards the door. But then something flashed across my idle mind. SPOON! I turned around and grabbed one of the three that have been occupying my pencil cup for the past week. I peaked my head outside my room in case my assailant was simply waiting there. When silence reached my ears, my heart slowed and my mind was put at ease. My friend and I went downstairs to retrieve this fabled 'package.' I sauntered on up to the mail counter and inquired as to the whereabouts of my mail. The lady at the counter was obviously confused; not even aware that a guy was working tonight, I became slightly suspicious, but only slightly. As I approached my mailbox, a head peaked around the corner. I dismissed it, honestly, my stomach was driving me, not my mind. With thoughts of candy and cake I looked into the small box of hopes labeled '491' and as I turned to go back to the counter, I was pierced by a foam shaft of misery...

Damn Nerf guns...

Happy Huntings!


Originally published on Thursday, October 13, 2005, in the game Champaign Dorms Fall '05

The lessons is that if you are playing assassins, don't trust every stranger who tells you to do things! That stranger might be your assassin.

'swipper' went on to get a second kill. He was eliminated before the game ended, but he still won the game since he had been the first player to reach 2 kills, and there were no players with 3 or more kills.